Hello hello, and welcome to Episode 107 of Life On the Brink!
This week I am officially 20 weeks pregnant with my first baby, which is kind of half way! It’s crazy to realize that in just a few months I’m going to have a whole baby girl and be her mother. It's so exciting but also a lot to process.
To mark this halfway point, this episode is all about my pregnancy journey thus far. I haven’t really talked much about it yet, so I’m sharing a bit of my first-time pregnancy experience as well as answering your questions.
For the complete show notes, click here!
For full transcript, click here!
Site: lifeonthebrink.live
Social: @anna_on_the_keys
Hello hello, and welcome to Episode 107 of Life On the Brink!
This week I am officially 20 weeks pregnant with my first baby, which is kind of half way! It’s crazy to realize that in just a few months I’m going to have a whole baby girl and be her mother. It's so exciting but also a lot to process.
To mark this halfway point, this episode is all about my pregnancy journey thus far. I haven’t really talked much about it yet, so I’m sharing a bit of my first-time pregnancy experience as well as answering your questions.
For the complete show notes, click here!
For full transcript, click here!
Site: lifeonthebrink.live
Social: @anna_on_the_keys
Welcome to Life on the brink, a lovely little place filled with inspiration and creativity that is dedicated to enjoying life one day at a time. I'm Ana. And together, we're exploring the beautiful things in this world that fascinate us. And often discovering something new. Hello, hello, and welcome to episode 107 of life on the brink is early morning, as I'm recording this, why because my next door neighbor is putting an addition on the back of his house. And every morning, from the time the sun comes up until well into the evening. There's all manner of construction sounds very audible within my house. So to that end, I have decided to record before the sun's come up. And so if my voice is not quite awake, that's why but it's it's in its morning face. I have a really fun episode today. And I'm excited about it. I haven't talked too much about this. And so I've gotten a lot of questions and encouragement. And so today's episode is going to be all about pregnancy. And specifically my pregnancy. I am officially 20 weeks, as of this week at the podcast is going out, which is pretty much like halfway that's that's the marker. And it's crazy to realize that in just a few months, in just about four and a half to five months, I'm going to have a whole kid, I'm gonna have a little baby girl, and I'm going to be her mom. And that is really exciting. But it's also a lot to process. And so to mark this halfway point, I am going to be sharing my pregnancy journey thus far. And I'm also going to be answering several of your questions, questions that I've been asked quite a bit. As well as over on Instagram I took I made a poll in my stories. And so here's the episode where you'll get all of the background and all of the updates thus far, because I announced that we were having a baby and then I let everybody know that we're having a girl. But that's pretty much the extent of it other than I took a little bit of a break in the fall because I wasn't feeling so good. And so today is going to be a bit more in depth. So before we jump right into it, I invite you to make yourself a nice cup of tea, something warming I have, I'm still in my camera meal phase, and it's early morning. So it's nice first thing, I'm drinking Twinings, chamomile, honey and vanilla, and then I've added more honey. And it's really nice. I know right now, in the depths of winter of January, that it's extra special to make sure that you take care of yourself. And to me making a cup of tea for myself, always feels very nurturing toward myself. So I hope that you're, you're doing well and Braving this winter. Well enough. So let's jump into first I have a little bit of background, before I get into some specific questions, just to sort of give a bit of context, a bit of story to how this came about. So I am the oldest of all my siblings and all my cousins. And so that means that I grew up witnessing a lot of pregnant women and being around babies and younger children growing up. And it also means that my baby will be the first of a new generation, which is cool. I'm the first of all my siblings and cousins to have a baby and it'll be my parents first grandchild, so. So that's very exciting. And even with all of that I wasn't really in a rush to have children. I wasn't really looking at that too much until I would say maybe a year or two ago. But I didn't know that it was something that was important to me. I just always kind of knew that I would get there eventually. And fortunately, Josh did feel the same way. Even before we got married. We discussed it just so we were on the same page. And it's interesting because when I'm around other people's babies I kinda even to this day, but especially before I became pregnant myself, I wasn't like, immediately drawn to them wanting to hold them, you know, just, you know, when you find someone that and they're like, they love babies and want to hold babies and they want to have their own babies. That was never how I operated. But I do work a lot with kids. For three years, I worked at a preschool as a music teacher. And so I was working with kids from ages three to five, pretty regularly and so I, I got to interact with them on that level. And I've also been a performer for my sister's company, wish or entertainment, look it up if you're in the area, where I basically show up as a princess to a birthday party or event. And so you get to witness some really precious moments of a child's life, when they believe you to be a fairytale princess. And so it's adorable. And there's some really, really sweet memories that I have in both of those scenarios. And so I have been around kids a lot, and I've had to communicate with children a lot and have really enjoyed that. And then just slowly, the, the desire for my own came very, very gradually. And I would say around this summer, Josh, and I celebrated our third year anniversary. And you know, we we have a house, we've we're slowly, slowly but surely renovating it, we've lived in the house for almost a year. And Josh got a new job last year. And it's a really great one, he enjoys it, and it's close to home and it's steady. And so I was really like, I think, I think it's time. And it brought about a few conversations. Because like I said, we both knew we wanted children, it's just a matter of timing. And while there's never really like a perfect time to do something like that, you know, when you want to wait for everything to line up. And I talked more about I'll talk more about that later, actually. Because it really, I feel like it really was the right time. For us, even though there was nothing in particular that lined up that made us more prepared. It's just that it felt, right. And so we made the decision last summer to like, you know, give it a go, see what happens. And then, to be perfectly honest, I had like another level of urgency. In August, when my grandma passed away. Family has always been really important to me, obviously, you know, I'm talking about them incessantly on this podcast. And we're very close. But that experience really, it made me realize with certainty that I wanted to be a mother and I wanted to have children and contribute to another generation of my family and, and help it to change and evolve and to sustain. If that makes sense, just the the concept of a familial legacy became so much more important. It's very, very precious to me now. And so I was I was all in I was like, I'm, you know, I'm gonna get the, the testing and the strips and all of the things. And so like I said, I really do feel like it was the right time for us. And I actually got pregnant in September, but we didn't know about it until it was the first of October. And from there, it's just been managing my, my very changing body. And preparing for baby one step at a time. I really feel like what has comforted me is the fact that women have been having babies since you know, long time, this is a very natural normal thing. And so I'm trying to just keep the perspective of literally, women do this every day. They're having babies every day. And it's fine, and it's natural, and it's normal. And this is what my body it was prepared to do. So I'm also trying to be really intuitive and just sort of observe because historically, I've had a tendency to overthink and over research when there's a new development in my life, actually, probably the first time I didn't do that was when we bought this house. I didn't learn about spying. I just followed what the realtor said. And that was a much better experience. So I'm, I'm going to try to let the wisdom of others and the fantastic medical resources that I have sort of guide me so I don't get overwhelmed with too much information all at once. Now, fortunately, it's been a an uncomplicated pregnancy. I know that that adds another layer for many people. And I still have little moments of fear or doubt, or high emotion. But I feel like that's, that's unavoidable to an extent. And for the most part, I've been focusing on just trying to observe what's going on in my body and learn new things as they become relevant. And that's just been the way that works for me, is I try not to stress myself out. So I'm halfway through. And we know that our baby is a girl, we actually, we had our anatomy scan, where they like, look at everything, and confirmed that it is, in fact a girl. We found out with a blood test, like right before actually was on Thanksgiving day. Yeah. And I, I would have shared that. Well, yeah, I was gonna share online as I did on the podcast on Thanksgiving Day. And it just so happened that That morning, I saw that the test results were in and so we had a little impromptu gender reveal at Thanksgiving. And that was really exciting. So and I, I felt like it was a girl, I kind of knew it was I had, I had the name already, like in my heart that just sort of like, dropped into my, into my heart. And so I was like, let me put that on the side in case it's a boy. But it but it is a girl. And yeah, I'm really, really excited. So now to get into some specifics, I'm going to answer some of your questions. So if you're not currently following me on Instagram, feel free to do so I'm gonna link it in the show notes. Or you can find me at ANA on the keys with underscores in between every word. That's where I will update things about the podcast, as well as pull an ad ask questions for future episodes. So first question that I get quite frequently all the time every day, which is when what am I do? I'm due in June, June 10, actually, and it's really perfect timing, because my school year ends at the end of May, the school where I teach. And so I basically just have the whole summer to adjust to everything. I'm so blessed in that, even though none of my jobs provide actual maternity leave, because I don't have a full time job. I just do a lot of closely related things part time and independently. I married a guy who has a steady job. So he's able to support us in the meantime. And I also do have a lot of flexibility. So I won't have leave per se. It's good timing with my school job. And then everything else, I'm just going to pare back, and basically take the summer off, to take care and to heal. And I know that that's such a special. It's so special that I'm able to do that. And so I'm going to take full advantage and see what we need and then come back to work as I can. And I'll talk more about that later as well, with a later question. So June 10, which is also nice, because I won't get too overheated all summer long. Apparently, I have always been quite cold. I always feel cold, my hands are cold. So I'm not used to roasting has apparently I will towards the end of pregnancy, which I looked it up if you don't like I'm learning things all the time and found out that like, the baby, you know, produces heat like body heat, like we all do. It's just that that heat has nowhere to go except within my body. Which is just wild to think about. And that's that's why pregnant women are so hot all the time. So not me Not yet. But um, apparently June is really nice. Next question is how did I find out? Or how did I tell Josh or tell my family? I just compiled like a lot of the questions that I got into, like, general categories of questions. So Josh actually knew pretty much as much as I did every step of the way. Like I said, I became fully invested in the journey in September and so I got, you know, a lot of pregnancy tests and ovulation tests and the cheap ones, which worked just fine for me. And I had been out of town for a few days. And I came back on a Friday and I knew something felt different. I couldn't tell what exactly just I hadn't just like weird moments of really feeling tired or some pain or like I had heartburn out of nowhere that I thought is this am I having a panic attack. What is this i had never experienced heartburn before. Oh, those were the days. But I knew something was different. And so I took a test when I came home and it came back negative, it's the ones where like you, you're looking for that second pink line. And so I'm squinting. And I'm looking at it. And I'm like, I don't see anything. But it was really early, it was really early to tell. And so I was just going to continue testing. And so over the course of that weekend, I was taking like three tests every day. And Josh would see them, you know, stacked up in a little row, as I was trying to watch the progression. And you could kind of see it, I was pretty confident that I was indeed pregnant at that time. But it was just a matter of certainty. And so here's the thing, I normally would have been more open about what was going on with my family, I think it's just that it was a really rough time. And I really didn't want to put the potential of something like that out there until I was actually pregnant, because I didn't know how long it would take. And I didn't want you know, it just it didn't feel right to share any news until there was actually something to share. And so I really, really, really wanted to tell them. So that Sunday, two days after I came back from out of town, which was October 1, I went and got one of those digital tests that afternoon, the ones that very clearly tell you pregnant or not pregnant. And it said it was like early detection and all of that I learned about pregnancy tests a lot over that weekend. And so I took that one and said pregnant, and Josh got out of the shower. And I showed him that and we were all night we were all we Josh and I were pretty much on the same page. And we knew that it was very likely. But we did have that little moment together of like, this is happening. And so you know, we got to pray together and have a sweet little moment, before I immediately went and told my whole family basically and, and that was great, because we have family dinner every Sunday. And so I pulled my parents aside and I was like, we got the doctor, you and then we shared with you know, all of that unit. All of the close, immediate family that comes a family dinner. And then we wanted to share with Josh's parents in person. And the next day, October 2 happened to be his dad's birthday. And so we were going to see him. And so we you know, we got to tell him and, and his brother and so everybody knew that was in the the family, basically. And it was really great it was so it meant a lot to have something hopeful to look forward to it was so special and continues to be special, actually. And so that's how it went. There was no surprise factor for Josh, but definitely big surprise for both sides of the family. All righty, so the next question is, do we have a name picked out? And yes, I already mentioned that we do. And our our close friends and our family do know it. But I think I'm gonna wait until she's born to sort of share online. And with the podcast, and so we do, but we're just gonna hold on to it for now. And let's see, next question is have I always wanted to be a mom or dreamt of being a mom, things in that vein. And like I sort of mentioned before, not in the way that I think some women do where like that is a very clear goal from earlier on in in your life. I just sort of knew in adulthood that that was something that I would do. I knew that at the end of my life, I wanted to be able to have had that experience and to have looked back and, and like I said the whole concept of family legacy became very, very important to me. But it just sort of crept up on me over the past. Like I said, about a year or two just seeing parents with their little kids. My reaction went from ambivalent to like, Oh, that's so sweet. Like, you know, your heart just sort of tugs a little bit. And going to all of these birthday parties are where I'm, I'm the princess, I'm the performer. I am really stoked to be able to be the party mom later where, you know, you get to celebrate your kid and and just the special relationship that that will be. So I am really excited about it now. Okay, next question is, what are your pregnancy symptoms or in particular, did you have any rough symptoms in your first trimester Oh, Lord. Yes, I did, though probably not nearly as bad as lots of people, because many people told me during this time Oh my God, when I was pregnant, I was sick every day for nine months. And I was like, great. I really hope that doesn't happen to me. Like, what am I supposed to do with that? But starting around week five, mind you, I found out really early, so like week three, and then for two weeks, it was maybe two or three weeks. I just had some, like cramping, feeling just things sort of scooting around. And yeah, just some pain. And then, right. A few weeks after that, I started to feel pretty sick. And it came kind of suddenly. And I had some pretty intense nausea for gosh, like a month, at least a month, five weeks, six weeks. But it wasn't every day all the time. It was just at first I thought, okay, maybe I'll eat smaller meals throughout the day, so that I don't get hungry. Maybe it's worse when I get hungry. Because that was one of the things I read. And so I'll try that. And that worked for a few days. And then it just wouldn't work anymore. And like one really interesting day I like through circumstances, I don't remember what exactly what happened. But I was really hungry. By the time I had to, you know, I was able to eat. And so my appetite was way more up. And that was great. And I thought, okay, maybe it's letting myself get hungry before I eat something. And that will help my appetite come back. Because Nothing's worse than having to eat when everything sounds terrible. It's just a matter of trying to find something that you can eat. And that didn't work, you know, like waiting to get hungry that that backfired big. But I never actually got sick, I never actually threw up. Which was perhaps a blessing. Although there were some times where I wondered, like, if I were to throw up right now would this would it subside? Because I would rather just have it subside but I didn't know perhaps I could have gotten sick and then it just you know continues I don't know. But I tried all the things I you know, ginger, choose ginger tea crystallized ginger, ginger, this and that, and sour things. And I got these little like sour pregnancy candies that have vitamin B six in them. And those were nice, I did have several of those and the saltine crackers, I did eat crackers, like first thing like in bed every day for at least a month. Because if I didn't do that it was bad. And ginger ale and you know, all of those things. And sometimes it would alleviate. Yeah, it would alleviate nothing ever went away because of you know any of those remedies. But I was able to continue working for the most part, I did cancel a lot of stuff. And some days, it was only moderate. And I would just sort of snack and and eat Cheerios, you know, here and there. And some days it was like, I don't want to go anywhere. And you know, when you your your stomach's upset, you don't want clothes to be like, squeezing on you. And so I was wearing like only really loose fitting clothes because everything felt awful. And I was thinking about it. If you were ill, you know, especially in the post COVID world, if you feel sick, I feel like it's perfectly reasonable to say, I'm sick, I'm staying home, thank you very much. But pregnancy is this weird thing, where for perhaps a month, perhaps six weeks, perhaps nine months, a woman can be the verge of throwing up every day. And you just have to go about your life. And in some ways I understand that. Because what are you going to do just like, shut down everything for nine months, or however long it takes because you don't know how long it's going to take like when will this go away? But it is wild to me how everyone, as I told them, You know, I was telling people that were above me or people that I was working for like this is what's going on. And everyone was very considerate and do what you need to do and sit down and whatever. But it's understood you just you know, you keep going and you do the best you can. So that was just interesting to observe. And some days it was just I went from the bed to the couch and then eventually back to the bed like I could do nothing. And Josh was very sweet. Obviously I he would come home and I would say I didn't do a single thing all day. I've just been trying to Do not throw up basically. And Josh would be like, That's okay. That is just fine. You do what you need to do. And then some days, it wasn't as bad. But on the whole, I would say, around week eight or week nine, it was the toughest. I had a gig right at the beginning of November, that I remember specifically like it, it, I felt like I couldn't move, the nozzle was so bad. And so Josh drove me to my gig and set up all my stuff. And I had some crackers and some fresh air and it, it did subside enough, and I was able to, you know, sing for the people. And then one time, I also remember, one that stands out is Sarah and I went to, we saw the Broadway show of Aladdin. And we were gonna go to this Thai place beforehand, and I love Thai food. And I took like, a few sips of the soup that we got. And there was a beautiful spread of Pad Thai and curry and coconut soup, and I couldn't look at it. I took like three bites, trying to see if it would open up my appetite. And then I just couldn't like I ate Cheerios in the theater. Eventually, when I got hungry, I was just the aversions were so intense. And yeah, so that was a bummer. But you know, they were rough days, but they're, they're behind me now, which is great. And I just had to be super intuitive. There was no point in trying to follow a pattern of what made me feel sick, what helped, you know, me not feel sick. I just sort of had to listen to what was going on at the moment. And then by like, week 11 of my pregnancy, so Right, like, almost before my, I hit the second trimester, it pretty much subsided, which was right around Thanksgiving. And that was one of my main concerns. I was like bliss, I need to be able to enjoy this food. And so many smells, I can smell everything. It's crazy. And so then that was, that was good. And I was really grateful for that. So there was nausea in my first trimester, some interesting pains in the beginning. And then second trimester has been really chill, I've been able to exercise again, I'm trying to keep stretching and yoga and walking like a regular part of my life, I feel like when I do, my body just feels better. And I feel like it's gonna help in my recovery a lot. And so that's been good. I have had some crazy heartburn. And like acid reflux, especially in the past, like week or two, it's been rough. I've just been eating tomes and trying to chew gum and you know, looking up various remedies. But yeah, that's wild. And now as things are really, really having to accommodate the baby, I can feel I don't know what they are, you know, like what parts of my body specifically, but things are definitely moving around and stretching and all that sort of thing, which does cause pain. But hasn't been super intense. Okay, so enough about that. Next question is what has been the most exciting part of your pregnancy. And thus far, aside from the fact that it feels like I have, I have a really good piece of news that I can tell at any time. It's whenever I get to see her in the ultrasound or hear her little heartbeat. I, at the beginning, they were only using like a visual scan of the heartbeat. And so I went to an appointment like right before Christmas, and it was just me. I told Josh like, I don't know what the point of this appointment is, like, I don't know what, what we do now that there's no ultrasound. So, um, turns out, they listen to the baby's heartbeat every time and ask you your questions. And so I got to hear her little heartbeat and Josh was not there. And so I called him and I was like, I'm sorry. Maybe you should have been here and he was like, Oh, that's okay. I'll hear her next time. And, and he has and so we got to just recently see the another ultrasound and she's moving around. I haven't felt anything yet. I feel like that's going to be another really exciting part. I keep waiting. I don't really know what I'm waiting for. But being able to feel the baby scoot around is um, it should be in the next couple of weeks. And then conversely, what has been the most difficult part of of pregnancy. And I already talked about the nausea, which was really tough. Like possibly that was the most difficult part. But the other difficult part has been that the pregnancy hormones have, have really kicked in, in this second trimester especially. And I was talking with one of the nurses, that one of my visits and I was like, is this, she said, that is perfectly normal, which it turns out, everything in the world can be normal, until it's something serious, so it doesn't help at all. But she was very comforting, because I was like, I've been so self critical, like, my inner critic, the intrusive thoughts have been so loud, since you know, like, second trimester. And she said, you know, if you're someone who leans toward, like, melancholy, or depression, like, these sorts of hormones can, you know, lean into that, and if you're someone who perhaps like you is very self critical, or can be like, it may manifest in that way. And it may also like the same things that you may feel in postpartum, you know, I could also be, the hormones are all related. And so it's been good to know that, to be able to have a basis of understanding for that, because it's been, I've just had several days of feeling sad for no reason, you know, it's also winter. So it could be a mix of things. But just feeling kind of down or just really hard on myself. So Josh has been doing his best to to help me be kind to myself, because he's, you know, always kind to me, that's been difficult as well. Alrighty, so our next question is, have you had any pain, specifically in the back in the head, in the hips, etc. And so like I said, Before, during the first few weeks, I had a lot of what just felt like cramps to me, especially when I would stand up. And at this point, it just is here in their little twinges. And actually, apparently, during this last ultrasound, the technician could tell that I was having a Braxton Hicks is, yeah, Braxton Hicks, I think contraction on one side of like my uterus or something. And and I was glad that she told me that because I had like, a way to describe the particular type of pain. I did have a weird back pain for a while. But I think that's because during my first trimester, I did not engage my core muscles in any way for like a month, because that would have just made the nodule worse. And so I found that like, in trying to move around, I think I just needed to engage those muscles again, because it was putting a lot of pressure on my lower back. And like, last week, especially I had like a weird pain in my right leg that I think is just ligaments and tendons like stretching and perhaps spraining. From weight distribution, and you know, different things like that. But like I said, I'm trying to incorporate a lot of stretching and strengthening and that has helped. So it hasn't been too much. We'll see how it goes in the third trimester. The next question asks, What are you most looking forward to about having a baby? Oh, so many things, really little moments that I have invented in my head, such as birthday parties, or being out in the garden or cooking things together. But I think the thing I'm most looking forward to is to meet someone or you know, watch someone grow that looks like both me and Josh, someone who's a mix of the two of us like it is going to blow my mind. I know it is like I'm really, really excited for that. Okay, and we only have two more questions here. One asks, What do you think your parenting style will be? And I'm going to try and just be smart and basic with this because I know that I really don't have any idea how what parenting is truly like. But when I think about it, I don't think I would define it as a real style. But the two words that have come to my mind when I think about how I would like to be as apparent are calming and present calming in the sense that little things hopefully Oh, Don't be blown out of proportion, and present in that I just want to be there, I want I want to soak it up for me, I want to be there for her for my for, you know, future children, you know. And I know also that I definitely value, discipline and structure like, these are things from my own upbringing that I think were really, really valuable. Like, the child will absolutely have manners and will respect authority and that sort of thing. But I don't want to sweat every detail or you know, blame a kid for just being a kid. And I also don't want to feel too tied to like markers of development, like not to sweat that too much to just like, let the kid grow and learn. And I'm hoping that any of the communication skills I've learned as a teacher will help in parenting. So we'll see, that's really all I can say about that. And we'll see how it goes. And the last question is, have you still been teaching or singing or performing while you're pregnant? And how do you plan to continue after birth? Or I've gotten some questions like, do you plan to go back to work, etc, like that. And so far, yes, I have really enjoyed singing and performing throughout the pregnancy. So far, like I said, I had, I had a couple of rough gigs. And I did call out of some gigs. Because I just felt awful in the first trimester. But since then, I've continued and it's been great. I also think I'm going to enjoy looking back on certain projects, and concerts and know that, like, my little baby was with me during them that's really sweet and special. And we'll see, like, I think I'm going to be pretty much in concerts, or teaching, or at least into, like, pretty much almost up until birth, like maybe I'll have like two weeks where I'm gonna just try and get rid of everything. In my schedule. As far as next fall, really, my plan is to continue working as I'm able. But to scale it back a little bit. So most of my work is generally split between teaching and performing, the teaching tends to be on a more consistent schedule, obviously. And so the school that I teach at part time, I really love the job, I love the people, I'm passionate about the work there. And I'm there like one afternoon per week, or sometimes two afternoons per week, depending on when in the school year. And it's just a few hours, and I feel like it's gonna be manageable. And I, fortunately, I have Josh and I have my mom and I have family, everywhere who are just absolutely clamoring to get at this baby. And so I've talked with with my mom specifically about trying to set up a schedule for those those few days. And then the other parts of teaching are private lessons. And we'll see I'm not as passionate about those as I am about this other job. Some I feel like I probably will keep depending on how I can be with baby. But I think I'm definitely going to scale some of that back. And then the performing side, fortunately, is all just gig by gig. And so as opportunities come I'm able to say yes or no. And most of those happen when Josh is not working anyway. And so we could tag team in that way. So my my main priority is going to be no let me not say it that way. I was gonna say my priorities being a mom, I feel like even moms who do work, obviously their priority, you know, they love their children. I'm not saying that. I'm saying in terms of my schedule, my time, I would like to create as much space as I can, as feels right? To be at home with this baby with future kids, etc. Unfortunately, as I said, I have a partner, a husband who loves to support me financially. And so I am in a truly fortunate position to be able to work as much as I would like to and that will obviously the money I earn does free up certain things, but we would be okay. If I said you know what, I'm done. And I'm just going to be a stay at home mom and I don't know if I was homeschooled personally and so when it comes to education, I don't know how how we'll go about With that, it's possible that I could also do that. So, as far as what am I going to do? Come fall, I'm going to go back to my school job, I'm going to pare down some of the lessons. And I'm just going to take gigs as I can. And as we are able as a family. And like I said, I'm just so so grateful for my family, and, and for my community, like I, I don't think anyone could be more supported than me and Josh, and that people will love this baby and will help us and so I plan to accept as much help as I can, basically. And so with that, I will probably also Well, I know, I'll be taking a break from the podcast in the summer. And then I do hope to continue it in the fall. Well, I do plan to I'm not going to leave you all like, Is this ever coming back, I do plan to continue the broadcast, it's just a matter of frequency. So we'll just have a little break in the summer, and then come back in the fall. And we'll see what it looks like. So that's pretty much it. Thank you so much for your questions, for your support. And for your excitement with me. As I await this new baby, I'm I know, it's gonna be a challenge. And I'm down for the challenge. And I know that it's going to be awesome, it's going to be so sweet. So if you have any pregnancy or parenting experiences, or advice or words of encouragement, please head over to the show notes at life on the brink dot live there. You can find the blog post with photos and all of these questions and links. And you can leave a comment and that's what I'm getting to. Because I would love to know your experiences and to to be encouraged by you. Because I know that this is such an encouraging community. And yeah, I'm excited. I'm so so excited. And I'm so glad I was able to record this before the construction began next door. So before they get going, I'll be right back with this week's little joy already, this week's little joy is a show a TV show, actually a series on Netflix that I have almost watched a couple different times. And then I finally just watched it I started like this week or last week, I don't remember. And it's so good that I'm like kicking myself. But I didn't watch it sooner. It's a French series that in English would look like Lupin had, but in French, it's pronounced like eupa or something. So it is in French. And it's set in Paris. And it's about this like high profile thief. The first episode, like as a whole unit, I feel like could almost have been like a short film. It was fantastic. So it's all hasty. And we're like stealing things. But in a really, really clever way. Like every episode. Well, several episodes will have moments of like, what would what would you call it? He's not. He's, he's not a con artist per se. He's not trying to take advantage of people all the time. But there are moments of disguise and intrigue and like so many episodes. And he's also trying to it's a bit of a revenge heist that that we're like, exposed to in the first episode. So there's also a lot of flashbacks to his child because our main character, our son, DLP is Senegalese and he and his father came to Paris. And there's this whole backstory. And I just love when a story or a book or you know, a show will show you things that happened from a scene you've already seen. Like you thought you knew what was going on here. But actually, this thing was happening behind the scenes. I love that. And so I'm now in season two, there's like three different series, or seasons. I think they're called parts actually, it's like part two. And it's current. So Part Three came out in 2023, I believe, and it is still ongoing. And so I'm gonna leave a link to the trailer. Like honestly, if you watch the first episode and you're not hooked like I'm shocked. I also really enjoy the fact that it's set in Paris, but it's through like a French lens. So it's just like a big city. It's the first time I've ever seen anything set in Paris that is not through an American lens. I think that it isn't Roman Sighs Do you know. So it's still beautiful and lovely. It's just different and I really enjoy that. So feel free to check it out. Again, it's spelled l u p i n. lupa. And I so enjoyed the show. It's fantastic. And finally, let me leave you with some music. I found a playlist on Spotify called Jazz for cooking. And it's eight and a half hours long. But last week, after several days of just feeling the gray winter and really high emotions and just feeling low, I decided to put on some music and cook. And so I made a really involved meal, which was both bogging you, I have developed a little bit of like a, a method. It's not a true recipe, but like one from my head. So I made that and I made Parmesan mashed potatoes, and chocolate cake. So it took quite a while, a few hours in the kitchen. And just with music, I probably didn't say a word for several hours, and I didn't have any other voices speaking it was just music and the food you know, working with my hands. And it was fantastic. It honestly the meal the end product was delicious. Like it was one of the most tasty meals I've ever had in a long while. But also the experience of cooking was much needed. And this playlist was on in the background. It's really nice. It's jazz instrumentals. I think there's some it's a lot of instrumentals some vocal tunes, but all of them are exactly the right vibe or it's not too relaxing, not too crazy or energizing. I really enjoy it. So I'm going to leave a link for that in the show notes. Once again, you can find the show notes at life on the brink dot live li ve and feel free to find me over on Instagram. Or to let me know how you enjoyed this episode in podcast review over on Apple or star rating or over on Spotify wherever you listen. There's also an email link through the website. I live on the brink dot live. And so if you have any ideas for future episodes, feel free to send me an email. I love getting suggestions and ideas from you. Once again, thank you so so much for all of your encouragement in this pregnancy journey. I'm very excited to see how the rest of this goes. I'll be back in two weeks with a new episode and until then, please cuddle up, drink something warm, and know that I'm sending lots of love from where I am. I wish you the very best have a wonderful week. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Life on the brink. If you're enjoying these episodes, please feel free to leave a star rating or even better leave a review on Apple podcasts to help spread the word. For podcast show notes and extra inspirational posts throughout the week. Head to the blog at life on the brink dot live. And if you'd like a little extra dose of inspiration in your life, sign up for the monthly newsletter which lights up your inbox the first Friday of each month. Thank you so much for listening. And until next time, friends you have a lovely week. Bye